Time? What time?

Somehow my new slogan "Time... I've got nothing but time now," is not exactly as true as I had thought it would be.  I should have learned that from my parents who "retired" a few years ago and haven't had a moment to relax since.  But at least my time is being eaten up by more meaningful things.  Last week, a few days before I was canned, I said to Andrea, "this job is killing me slowly... there has to be more to life than this."  I'm finding out what how true that really is.

So I haven't cooked a meal from scratch since I started playing housewife, and the household chores aren't getting done like I would like them to, but what I did do was took my little girl to get ice cream today.  How cool is that?  (Literally - it was freezing out - what was I thinking??)  Moments like that are worth all the money in the world.  She got a kid's chocolate soft serve cone, we sat outside at a picnic table, and I taught her how to lick the ice cream off the cone.  I'm happy I get to teach her the important things in life.

Another joy in life... trampolines.  Check out Hope & Parker on the trampoline.  (Before you freak out there is netting all the way around the trampoline that doesn't come across too well in video, but trust me, it's there so the kiddies can't fall out).  Also, ignore the audio on the video of Missy and I talking about the weather.  Hope on a trampoline

What I consider to be Day 1...

Since I was let go on Thursday, the days to follow were pretty busy.... Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, that is.  So today was really my first day as what I think is going to be a more typical day.  Turns out it's a little hard to get up and going when there isn't much to do.

If it weren't for my lunch date with my mom at the Red Cross Chili cookoff, I would have had literally nothing to do today.  After the cookoff, Hope took a THREE hour nap.  I'm all for long naps, but I'm really going to have to figure out what to do while she's napping to stay busy.  I ended up taking an hour nap, watched daytime tv, and surfed the net.  That wasn't as productive as I wanted to be.  The dishes needed to be done, but I didn't want to do them while Hope was sleeping. 

So I instead I stuffed myself silly on Girl Scout Cookies.  I'm hoping for a much more domestically productive day tomorrow.  Here's hoping!

Later that day...

So after Andrea and I were done bawling our eyes out in the parking lot, I decided to head over to Missy's house.  She watched Hope while I was at work everyday.  I seriously felt like I was in the middle of a movie.  I walk in and am immediately greeted by three kids vying for my attention.  They are eating lunch and I sat down at the table with them.  Three boys... ages 5, 4, and 2.5.  The 5 and 4 year olds were acting like the kid from Jerry Maguire... just feeding me useless facts in a rapid fire fashion.  To quote that kid from Jerry Maguire, "Did you know my neighbor has 6 rabbits?  Did you know the human head weighs 8 lbs?" So you get the point.  I made myself a PB&J and continued letting them talk at me at the table.  I will be the first to admit that dealing with kids is not one of my strong suits... especially boys at this age.  They are like little aliens to me.  Then the two year old boy was trying to communicate to me but this was not a language I spoke.  I know he was trying to tell me something about Monster Trucks, but beyond that I don't have a clue.  I texted Andrea and told her I just arrived at the funny farm.  (BTW, Hope was napping through this)

Thankfully not too long after lunch the preschool boys went off to school and I was left with Missy and the under 2.5 year old crowd which seems more my speed.  It was actually a very nice afternoon filled with playing outside, going for a walk, just relaxing and hanging out with the kids and Missy.  It was nice to get my mind off things even though I was still in disbelief.

Andrea came by on her lunch hour and told me about how the boss had met with them just before lunch to explain what had just happened.  She said he was visibly upset by it and that he said these weren't just anybody that he had to let go, these were friends that everyone had gotten to know.  That was nice.  He was a great boss and I honestly feel bad that he had to do that because I know it wasn't his decision, but part of me feels better knowing he felt bad too.  :)

My day with little alien munchkins did not end there.  Of alllllll days, Dusty's work was having a gathering at Chuck E Cheese in Grand Rapids.  So after my afternoon at Missy's, I took Hope and joined Dusty there.  I honestly thought it was going to be hell.  We walked in and Hope got half way through the place and just broke down crying.  By the time we got to our table, Hope was sobbing.  Dusty's co-worker said, "Just wait till the animatronic Chuck E Cheese comes out... then she'll be REALLY freaked out."  He no sooner got the words out and out came the giant mouse.  To our surprise, Hope was calmed by this beastely singing creature and completely mezmorized.  From that point on she had the time of her life!

It turned out to be a great time and I was able to keep my mind off of everything.  That was until we ran into our financial planner.  He asked how we have been, we politely said "good", he said "everything going good then?" and then I let him know that I had just lost my job that day.  He told us that his wife just lost hers in October and still hadn't found a job yet.  They asked 20 questions about what I was going to do now to which I had no answers for.  I was still in shock and hadn't even begun to think of what I was going to do. 

We left Chuck E Cheese and headed home.  I was then left alone with my thoughts for the first time that day.  Reality was starting to set in that I wasn't going to get up for work the next morning.  It just felt weird.  I have no clue what it feels like to not work.  Guess I have been left with no choice though.  Next week should be interesting when I have an entire week to test it out.

How my new life began...

On the morning of March 18th, I was not thinking about work at all.  Instead, I was thinking about the OB/GYN appointment that I had scheduled for 8am.  It was my 10-week appointment where Dusty and I were going to be able to hear the heartbeat for the first time.  I was really excited for this day for many reasons... I just wanted the reassurance that everything was going okay so far with the baby and I also wanted to finally tell everyone who didn't know yet that I was pregnant.  I had thought over and over how I was going to break the news on Facebook... would I try to be witty and clever?  Should I keep people guessing and just give them a clue?  Should I just talk about the heartbeat and act as if everyone knew already?  Seems silly now, but I enjoyed thinking of the many different ways to spill the beans.  The doc appointment went really well... was able to hear the heartbeat loud and clear in the 160's range... then went downstairs to the lab and had a bunch of blood drawn. 

I got into work just a few minutes after 9am and saw a co-worker of mine in the conference room when I walked in.  I asked her what she was doing in there and she said our manager asked to speak to her in there.  She was really nervous and she said half jokingly, "I think I'm going to be fired."  I told her "you're not going to be fired, don't worry... it's fine."  Then I walked along to another fellow co-worker, Annette, whom I am close to and said with a laugh, "Deborah thinks she's getting fired today." and we both shook our heads like it was so impossible.  I went on to tell her about my doc appointment when my boss walked by.  I shouted out to him, "hey!  My doctor appointment went well!" and he looked with me with a very serious face and asked, "were they able to find a heartbeat?" and I said "yup!  Sounded great!" Meanwhile, in my head I'm thinking that he just doesn't look happy because he has to have a serious talk with Deborah and those are never fun.  I walked back to my desk and got down to work.  Not even 10 seconds later, my boss came up and asked if I could join them in the large conference room.

I walked in there and joined Deborah and shortly later another sales rep walked in.  We were looking at each other like 'this is strange, what's going on?'  I pointed out to them that we are the bottom 3 reps on the "Rep Ranking" (as far as sales goes), but I still thought maybe we were just going to have a strict talking to.  So our boss finally walks in and he says something along the lines of "Bad news guys... I have been instructed to have a reduction in force and as of today your positions have been eliminated."  Everything after that is kind of a blur.  Deborah just kept talking while I just stared at the table which now had a severence package in front of me with my name on it.   My boss then had to go through a powerpoint presentation with us that outlined our severence and what we were to do next.  Honestly, I felt like it was the teacher on Charlie Brown speaking.  I barely heard a word.  I began crying like an idiot.  I couldn't even look at my boss.  He and I were buds... just couldn't believe this was happening. 

So many thoughts running through my head... how could they do this to ME?  After the years, the blood, sweat, and tears, just everything.  I always thought I would be one of the last ones standing.  I would make it through anything that came my way.  I was one of the few people there with a college degree and working my way towards a masters.  My co-workers would often come to me for help and I felt like I was well respected not by just my peers but also by management.  For a minute the anger subsided and I started then thinking about how much I was going to miss everyone.  I am extremely close to my co-workers and we share in the details of our personal lives and have been there for each other.  We have been a big family for quite a while now.  Most of all, I was going to miss working with my friend, Andrea.  I hired her in when I was the support supervisor a few years ago.  She and I have been best friends from the day we met in 5th grade.  We have each other's backs and just being able to share in something that we both could relate to made all the difference while working there.   Words cannot describe how awesome it is to work with someone who just gets you and knows the situation. 

Finally the powerpoint torture was over and I was able to get up and start cleaning out my desk.  I was a mess.  The first person I saw was Linda who immediately saw that I was upset and gave me a great big hug.  She asked what was wrong in a panicked voice and I said, "They're letting me go.  I've just been fired!"  I told her Deborah, myself, and one other had been let go.  By that time a few more people were standing around... the rest is a blur... I just kept hugging everyone and barely being able to look them in the eye while I gathered my stuff.  I remember looking up and seeing Andrea and she was probably crying as hard as I was.  We just kept shaking our heads... just could not believe it.

So that was that... I packed up my things, hugged everyone that was there goodbye and my new life began.