I am a member of the Facebook Group YUP Muskegon. It's a very informal group of "Young Professionals" or "Young Urban Professionals" (but I'm not a fan of the term urban in the context of our group - subject for another day) that meets up once a month after business hours for drinks. Someone recently tagged me and two other ladies in the post asking us whether we were admins of the group or if we knew who was. I was flattered that they thought I was even a possibility as an admin considering I had never attended one of the YUP meet ups and wasn't all that active in the online group.
So I responded that I was not in fact an admin of the page nor did I know who was. I also stated that lately I haven't felt very young or "professional" as of late. Truth is, when I look at the pictures from these meetups, it's mostly 20-somethings whom I've never heard of, never met, and are more successful than I am. I am in my mid-thirties and the job title of "mom" has now taken over almost exclusively. I'm once again feeling in this strange pickle as I felt when I started this blog in 2010.
In the last five years, I have had many ups and downs. I started my own company with some friends called, Net Owl Media, I also started a non-profit. I've done a whole slew of volunteering and gotten more active in my church. But slowly work has declined. Net Owl Media is no more. The non-profit is still hanging on and I hope to see great things come from it, but it's been slow. I went from having my kids in daycare twice a week so I could get work done to not having them in daycare at all anymore. I see my professional life slipping away and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
On one hand, what a blessing it is to not HAVE to work! To have the option of being a stay at home mom is wonderful. I love being available for all the kids' activities, school functions, picking them up from school, etc. I never have to ask for time off of work to do any of those things or try to find someone to cover my shift. Being with my kids whenever I want to truly is a gift.
However, when I'm cruising around town in my minivan, my mind begins to wander about what happened to the other side of me. The side that LIKES to work. Likes to feel good at my job, respected, even an expert at times. I'm not sure any parent feels like an expert at parenting. It's such a crap shoot. You just do the best you can do and hope that your kid grows up to be a good, respectable human being. There's no "high fives" at the end of the day for really nailing that mom role. There's no promotion or raise to strive for.
It's not that I'm feeling overwhelmed by my kids at the moment or that I need a break from being mom (although I wouldn't turn one down). It's just that I'm struggling to find a place that will satisfy both parts to me. I find myself back to where I started five years ago.... not sure where to go or what to do. Not sure I even want to formulate a plan or figure it out any time soon.... but you probably won't see me at a "young professional" meet up in the near future either.
Went from workaholic working 40+ hours a week, to getting downsized and being a stay at home mom (SAHM), and now doing something somewhere in between. Loving life and its unexpected curves and turns.
