YUP - Got me thinking...

I am a member of the Facebook Group YUP Muskegon.  It's a very informal group of "Young Professionals" or "Young Urban Professionals" (but I'm not a fan of the term urban in the context of our group - subject for another day) that meets up once a month after business hours for drinks.  Someone recently tagged me and two other ladies in the post asking us whether we were admins of the group or if we knew who was.  I was flattered that they thought I was even a possibility as an admin considering I had never attended one of the YUP meet ups and wasn't all that active in the online group.

So I responded that I was not in fact an admin of the page nor did I know who was.  I also stated that lately I haven't felt very young or "professional" as of late.  Truth is, when I look at the pictures from these meetups, it's mostly 20-somethings whom I've never heard of, never met, and are more successful than I am.  I am in my mid-thirties and the job title of "mom" has now taken over almost exclusively.  I'm once again feeling in this strange pickle as I felt when I started this blog in 2010. 

In the last five years, I have had many ups and downs.  I started my own company with some friends called, Net Owl Media, I also started a non-profit.  I've done a whole slew of volunteering and gotten more active in my church.  But slowly work has declined.  Net Owl Media is no more.  The non-profit is still hanging on and I hope to see great things come from it, but it's been slow.  I went from having my kids in daycare twice a week so I could get work done to not having them in daycare at all anymore.  I see my professional life slipping away and I'm not sure how I feel about it. 

On one hand, what a blessing it is to not HAVE to work!  To have the option of being a stay at home mom is wonderful.  I love being available for all the kids' activities, school functions, picking them up from school, etc.  I never have to ask for time off of work to do any of those things or try to find someone to cover my shift.  Being with my kids whenever I want to truly is a gift.

However, when I'm cruising around town in my minivan, my mind begins to wander about what happened to the other side of me.  The side that LIKES to work.  Likes to feel good at my job, respected, even an expert at times.  I'm not sure any parent feels like an expert at parenting.  It's such a crap shoot.  You just do the best you can do and hope that your kid grows up to be a good, respectable human being.  There's no "high fives" at the end of the day for really nailing that mom role.  There's no promotion or raise to strive for.

It's not that I'm feeling overwhelmed by my kids at the moment or that I need a break from being mom (although I wouldn't turn one down).  It's just that I'm struggling to find a place that will satisfy both parts to me.  I find myself back to where I started five years ago.... not sure where to go or what to do.  Not sure I even want to formulate a plan or figure it out any time soon.... but you probably won't see me at a "young professional" meet up in the near future either.

Choose Yourself: Get out of a verbally abusive relationship

Earlier this week I posted a secret on my Facebook page.  Something that my very close family and friends knew, but that my greater social network was definitely unaware of.  I admitted that 12-13 years ago I was in a mentally abusive marriage.  This announcement surprised a number of people because most did not know I was even married before my current husband and therefore obviously didn't know the details of the marriage.

What prompted me to put it on Facebook was an article I came across that was posted on Upworthy titled:  She Could Hear Every Word He Said Through The Open Window, So She Started Typing . It is a letter written by a woman, Angie Aker, who could hear her neighbor's husband (boyfriend?) being verbally abusive.  Please read the letter in its entirety, but here is an excerpt:

He yells at you. We hear it. He calls you demeaning names. We hear it. I don’t know what else happens when the doors and windows close and we are no longer your witnesses — but make no mistake about it, you are not the things he calls you. Everyone on this block knows that. He has not stripped you of your credibility with us. You may feel stripped ... of your personal power, of your personal dignity, of the things that used to make you feel special before he made you feel like everything you do is wrong or bad. The only person who has the authority to give those things away is you. The only person who can restore those things, a bit at a time, is you.

There was something about that phrasing that made me think of my own experience.  I felt as if Angie was speaking to the 12-years-ago-me.  At the end of the letter, Angie reveals that years ago that was the position she was in, and she was able to get out.  This is what made me decide to come out about my experience on my Facebook page.  If I can just help one person by telling my story, by letting people know that I've been through it too, and that life can be so much better than what it is now, then that would be amazing to me.  So here is my Facebook post:

I attached the Upworthy article and pressed "post".  Immediately, I felt a wave of nausea come over me. What are people going to think?  What will my husband think about me talking about the past with my ex?  How would people react to me having been married before?  Are people going to think I'm just trying to get attention and/or sympathy?

However, within a few minutes comments of support started flowing in.  Many comments from others who have also been through the same kind of relationship, but are now past it and living happy lives with someone who treats them well.  Along with public comments also came private messages and texts offering support, empathy, and congratulations on how far I've come in my life since then.  They were all amazing to read, every single one of them.  It was nice to know so many friends had taken the time to read what I had written and then to reach out besides.  My favorite comment, however, came from my dad:

"We knew only a very small part of what you went through but that was bad enough. We are so proud that you had the courage and strength to put an end to it. I remember the relief we felt the night we picked you up and how glad we were that you knew you always had a safe place to go."

The support has been overwhelming, and with that comes the courage to go from posting it on Facebook to my network of friends to posting it out in cyberspace for anyone to read.  With that comes that nausea feeling in the pit of my stomach again, but I'm putting it out there in hopes of it helping somebody someday.

I am saying once again, nobody deserves to be treated like that.  Not all relationships are that way.  There also doesn't have to be physical abuse for it to be an abusive relationship.  You are not the things he (or she) tells you that you are.  Please contact me if you ever feel you need support getting out of an abusive relationship.  As Angie said in her letter, "You can keep waiting for this man to CHOOSE you once you’ve proven yourself 'good enough.' Or you can tell him to go to hell and you can choose yourself."

amanda(dot)shunta(at)gmail(dot)com

Yes, I invited celebrities to my wedding

My husband and I got married back in 2006.  During the wedding invitation addressing process we had just six invitations left after all of our friends and family had been invited.  Instead of just letting those invitations go to waste, or keep in a keepsake box that we'll never look at again, we decided to send them out into the universe to some of our favorite celebrities that we felt MIGHT possibly respond.  We knew none would actually show up to the wedding in our hometown of Muskegon, MI, but we thought even if just one returned the RSVP card with the decline checked that, in and of itself would be cool. 

So earlier this week we met one of our favorite rockers Matt Nathanson during a "Meet and Greet" after his concert at Frederick Meijer Gardens in Grand Rapids.  What do you say to someone famous during these awkward Meet and Greets?  This isn't the first time we've met Matt (probably our third or fourth) and we've encountered other celebrities/singers in the past as well.  You have two seconds to say something, someone snaps a picture, and then they move on to the next person.  So I decide to clumsily blurt out "we invited you to our wedding in 2006."  To which, Matt responded the only way any celeb could to this awkward declaration "oh and you're still married, congratulations on your long nuptials!" Husband and I both giggled, said thanks, photo snapped, and he moved on to the next person.


It got me thinking though about the people who we invited then and who I may have wanted to invite if our wedding was today instead.  So here are the chosen six of who we invited:

1.  Matt Nathanson - my husband was a huge fan of his music for years and would send me his songs during his courtship with me.  Granted, they were very dark, depressing songs, but I loved them as much as he did.

2006 looking Matt Nathanson

2. The Cast of How I Met Your Mother - The show had only had one season at the time and we were hooked.  The funniest show to come out for our generation, we felt there was so much to it that we could relate to.

How I Met Your Mother

3. Jeff Daniels - Hails from Michigan, and love his work.  Thought he might not have anything going on and could pop on over for a wedding.  Worth a shot, right?

Jeff Daniels

4. Jeff Bridges - The Dude abides.  Seriously.... he's the dude... no explanation needed.

Jeff Bridges

5. Andy Richter - I have a massive crush on Conan O'Brien and since I figured he was too huge to respond, I would invite his trusty sidekick who I believe was born in Grand Rapids, MI.  Truth be told, I really do like Andy though and think he's just as bit as funny as Conan.

Andy Richter

6.  ??????????????  And we both can't remember who the sixth celebrity was that we invited!!  If it comes to me I will edit this entry and add the person.

Now that we have been married for coming up on eight years, I think about how this list would change, or be added to, if we were to do it today.

I would add Mark Rufalo as a celebrity that I respect for his advocacy for the environment and climate change awareness.  Seth Glier who we have seen seven times in concert in the last couple years.  We have a deep respect for not only his songwriting ability, but also his character.  Emma Stone because she's someone that young girls should look up to - smart, funny, and talented - and I just thoroughly enjoy her.  And lastly Pharrell Williams because he just seems like an all round nice and humble man, on top of being crazy talented.

I know the people listed on here are not necessarily the conventional celebrities that if someone could have show up at a wedding they would be the one, but for whatever reason they have touched our hearts.  Who is a celebrity you would want to hang out with for a day? 

Our House Concert with Seth Glier

On Tuesday, November 12th, 2013, my husband, Dustin, and I hosted our very first "House Concert."  It turned out to not only be one of the highlights of 2013 for me, but probably in the top 10 (maybe even top 5) experiences of my life.  So let's back up a bit and I will tell the story of how this came to be and then describe how awesome it was.

In the beginning of this year, January 20th to be exact, I came upon a blog post by Brian Vander Ark, lead singer of The Verve Pipe, that described how to host a perfect house concert and emailed it to Dustin. Brian laid it all out perfectly and really piqued our interest in doing a house concert.  All we needed to do now was figure out who to book.

We looked into booking Ari Hest, Jess Klein, Walk Off the Earth, and Matt Giraud.  These are artists that we love, most had seen live before, and thought our living room would accommodate their sound well.  Because of touring logistics, it not fitting within our budget, or just not hearing back from their booking agent, we had to pass on these folks... at least for now.

Then on March 6th, I saw that Seth Glier posted on his facebook page that he was doing an IndieGoGo crowdfunding campaign.  He was in a really bad car accident that totaled his Prius and damaged equipment that was inside.  Depending on what a person donated, there was a "perk" given for the donation.  It was a no-brainer to us that we would love to help Seth out and in exchange we received a house concert in our living room for us and 30 of our friends.

Seth Glier is a Grammy nominated singer/songwriter who we had seen twice before in Spring Lake, MI at a venue called Seven Steps Up... first in January of 2012 and again in January of 2013.   I have a hard time putting it into words what the experience of seeing him live is like.  Not only does his music touch our souls, but without ever even speaking with him, you know the kind of man he is through his storytelling and his songs.

I think Dustin and I thought about it for maybe a week... whether or not we would donate this money to Seth to not only help him out with buying a new Prius (it IS a Prius after all... same car Dustin and my mom and many of our friends drive) but also to have the honor of having him in our home and letting our friends experience his music too.

So we pulled the trigger and sent the in the donation online.  On May 3, I received an email from Seth thanking us for our donation, letting me know he was able to purchase a new Prius, and he was back touring the country again.  He gave me the option of two dates that he would be in West Michigan and we decided on November 12th.  Wow, planning in May a concert that was to happen in November felt like an eternity away.  But we were excited, to say the least!

Seth and I were in contact a few more times via email and I even received a phone call from him the Sunday before the concert.  Our invites went out through Facebook a month ahead of time and we were just working on finalizing all of the RSVP's to get an exact count for how many people were coming.  As it so happened, we had just under 30 people that were able to attend.

Dustin and I worked diligently throughout the days leading up to the concert to prepare our house.  We had a bunch of clutter and toys that needed to be picked up and then the usual scrubbing toilets, washing floors, that you like to have done before a bunch of guests arrive. 

Seth was absolutely punctual and arrived at 4pm just as he said he would.  He immediately began to set up his equipment meanwhile singing tunes as he went from the house to his car and back again.  It seriously felt like a dream.  Seth Glier was in my house singing casually as he set up his equipment.  Once the keyboard and sound system were set up he began to practice on there singing bits of a number of his songs.  I seriously could not stop smiling as I was finishing up the rest of the chores I needed to do.  Again, I'm at a loss for words on how awesome this was to be getting my own private concert.

After he got everything set up he was able to relax for a bit before the guests began to arrive.  Dustin had made some really tasty chili and the three of us sat around the kitchen eating and enjoying light conversation.  Light conversation meaning religion, politics, tea party, and abortion.  You know... the typical things one would talk to with a Grammy nominated artist chilling in your kitchen.  It was fantastic.  We got to know a little more about him and he got to know more about us.  Our views on many things aligned and there were things that both Dustin and I said to him that he had the response of "I never thought of it that way before" to.  That was incredible.  Even though Seth is nearly ten years younger than we are, he has an old soul and maturity that is rare in men even twice his age.  It was a pleasure having this one-on-one time with him.  Musical artist aside, he is one cool dude.

The guests began to file in and started to mingle.  They had a moment to grab some drinks, some snack and Dustin's chili and then it was time to get started.  I gave a short introduction about where we had seen Seth before and how excited we were to have him in our home.  I didn't end up saying everything I had intended to say, but that's what happens when you're just bubbling over with joy.

Seth started off by singing "Gotta Get Away."  I got a short video of it before my camera ran out of space.  I took a second video later with my cellphone of "Our Song"  which also cut off near the end, and for the rest of the concert I was just so in awe that I never thought again about taking any more videos.  He sang for about 40 minutes and then took a break and then sang for another 30-40 minutes.  His talent on the keyboards and his vocals are just out of this world.  He sang at least two songs acapella and the pitch was just dead on.  He put so much soul and passion into what he is singing.  His lyrics tell stories that are as descriptive as novels.  You really can picture it in your mind exactly what he's singing about and what either he felt during the experience or what the person felt that he was writing about.  He has a knack for words and songwriting.

Our guests seem to like him as much as we do.  At least four of our guests bought tickets right then to see him in January at Seven Steps Up and several others bought CDs and other merchandise.  Seth is also an ambassador for an adopt a child fund that supports children all over the world to make sure they are given the necessities.  One house guest adopted a child because she said that Seth really touched her soul.

Having Seth in our home was awesome enough, but being able to share this experience with our friends and family and have them love him as much as we do was really the best gift of all.  Seth is going to continue to great things in this world and we were lucky to have him right here in our living room.  I will never forget this and it really felt like a fairytale.  We have been blessed with such an incredible life and I feel like the luckiest woman alive.  I know that we were the ones who donated money, but he was the true gift in this experience.

ISR Swim Lesson video goes viral!

It is so exciting to me that our video of Oliver in his ISR swim lesson has gone viral on YouTube.  To me, this must mean that there is an active interest in ISR swim lessons and I think that is just wonderful!  At the time I am writing this we are just 25,000 views away from reaching 4 million views!! Can you believe that?!  If you haven't see the video yet, please watch below.  Then click on over to my blog post about our Our Amazing ISR Experience.  Thank you!

The most elaborate marriage proposal I've ever seen

The internet is full of marriage proposals.... from the simplest recorded with a camera on a phone to flash mobs orchestrated in shopping malls.  No matter how simple or elaborate, they are enjoyable to watch.  They fill your heart with love, laughter, hope, and romance.  But this one takes the cake.  The time, money, and resources this must have taken is just unbelievable.  I'm thankful for creative people in this world that make things like this and share with the rest of the world.  I love this couple and I don't even know anything about them.  Enjoy!

April Cash Mob Announced to Raise Funds for New Downtown Muskegon Arcade and Bar

An April Cash Mob will be held to benefit two local entrepreneurs’ arcade project.

Muskegon is no stranger to the “Cash Mob” concept. West Michigan Jobs Group (WMJG) has organized several Cash Mobs in the Muskegon area over the last year. A cash mob is a gathering similar to a flash mob, typically organized through the use of social media, where a group of people meet at a locally owned business and each spend at least $20 in cash.  The idea is to keep as much money in the local economy as possible and increase exposure to the business.

"This time we wanted to support a business that isn't even operational yet.  West Michigan Jobs Group's goal is to support local, independent and sustainable businesses to nourish Muskegon's economy and create more jobs,” said Amanda Shunta, vice president of West Michigan Jobs Group. “One way of doing this is by helping new businesses get off the ground."

WHAT: Cash Mob to support proposed arcade/live music venue, Nick & Tim’s

WHEN & WHERE: April 25, 6-8 p.m. at Cherokee Restaurant—1971 Sherman Blvd, Muskegon

WHY: Entrepreneurs Nick Leisenring and Tim Updyke have purchased the building at 136 W. Webster Ave in downtown Muskegon, with a vision for a distinguished arcade and drink house offering a unique combination of retro gaming and modern technology in a casual environment.  In addition to the arcade, live entertainment ranging from local and regional bands to comedians will also be a focus of this endeavor. Leisenring and Updyke started an online crowd sourcing campaign on the site indiegogo.com and have been seeking donations through social media to help offset the cost of the massive renovations needed for the building.  The cash mob will further help them to reach their goal of $250,000. 

“We knew it was a high goal when we set it, but we have seen amazing things happen from crowd sourcing sites and thought it was worth doing," said Updyke. 

The cash mob will take place in the banquet room in the Cherokee restaurant where there will be board games available for all ages to enjoy.  Donors to the Nick & Tim’s project will receive a "perk” based on the level of their contribution. 

In addition to the fundraiser, participants are encouraged to purchase food and drinks to support locally owned Cherokee as well.  If you are unable to attend the cash mob but would still like to donate, visit http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/nick-tim-s-project/x/673866   Questions relating to the project can contact Tim Updyke email tim@modern-entertainment.com.   Any questions about the cash mob please contact Amanda Shunta at amanda.shunta@gmail.com.